Dear Brand Owner
Mikael Teo
[13 Jan 2023 14:04]
Dear Steve,
Big hello to you from Miami, Florida! Thank you for reaching out! I'll be happy to collaborate with your new electronics brand Optus. It's an Italian brand you said? It sounds very exciting. Please send more details soon.
Cheers,
BlondieBleach
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[14 Jan 2024 08:22]
Dear Steve,
It is very early in the morning. Forgive my sleepy eyes, but did I read correctly that you want me to promote your Phantom vibrators on Instagram? I was expecting hairdryers, or air fryers actually… Please advise.
Cheers,
BlondieBleach
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[14 Jan 2024 11:04]
Dear Steve,
No! I will not caress my cheeks with your vibrator for an IG story post, nor will I 'just hold it near my chin while it vibrates' for a picture. Frankly, your offer of two vibrators and no cash is downright insulting.
Cheers,
BlondieBleach
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[14 Jan 2024 14:37]
Dear Wanwen,
Yes, I would gladly stay for four nights at your wonderful hotel in Singapore in exchange for twelve IG posts and three IG stories. I've attached my IG metrics for you as a screenshot. In summary, out of my 142,262 IG followers:
63% are female, 37% male
Top five cities of engagement are New York, Houston, Chicago, Seattle and Minneapolis.
Quick question if you don't mind, is your hotel near the gorgeous Marina Bay Sands hotel? It seems close on the map. Chat soon!
Cheers,
BlondieBleach
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[15 Jan 2024 10:01]
Dear Wanwen,
I truly apologize for my tactless question. I do not imply your hotel is inferior to MBS. I was just curious because I've seen their majestic view and gorgeous facilities on YouTube and would like to drop by. Not that you do not have these features too, but I'm just more acquainted with MBS, that's all. I hope you understand.
Cheers,
BlondieBleach
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[16 Jan 2024 16:15]
Dear Sakura,
What a lovely name you have! Yes, I will promote 'Ikigai' face moisturizer for USD3,000, for four IG posts over two months. I look forward to your products in the mail.
Cheers,
BlondieBleach
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[16 Jan 2024 12:51]
Dear Wanwen,
Hi again, thanks for pointing out your hotel is ten storeys tall and there is not much of a view and I really sympathize with you that it faces an ugly canal. But window views are way overrated IMHO.
I mean, what do travelers do? They shop and eat, or work all day, and by the time they return to the hotel, they plonk themselves on the bed and hardly need anything else. They don't really care what features the hotel has. Am I right?
Cheers,
BlondieBleach
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[16 Jan 2024 15:33]
Steve,
Yes, I may post 'sexy' photos of me in a bikini but that's an expression of who I am as a modern woman, and you're absolutely mistaken if you think that means I will subject myself to lewd posts with non-family oriented products. Please do not contact me anymore. I am not interested!
Cheers,
BlondieBleach
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[16 Jan 2024 15:45]
Dear Sarah,
That's right, my requirements for promoting your watches via three IG posts are:
Two complimentary watches and
USD2000
I love the new collection, btw, and look forward to taking gorgeous pictures of them.
Cheers,
BlondieBleach
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[16 Jan 2024 16:48]
Dear Timothy,
Thank you for reaching out. I'm afraid I have to decline this as I believe in endorsing and promoting products that I personally have experience with, and so far I don't have a need for hemorrhoid cream and wouldn't know how to promote it for you. Thank you.
Cheers,
BlondieBleach
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[17 Jan 2024 09:42]
Dear Wanwen,
My apologies again! I didn't mean that your hotel was unnecessary and insignificant. I do understand and accept that you are not considering me to be an ambassador for you now. Please stay in touch.
Cheers,
BlondieBleach
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[19 Jan 2024 19:27]
Dear Timothy,
I pride myself on honesty and authenticity, so I do not wish to pretend I am suffering from hemorrhoids, as you suggested. Your reference pictures do help; I know what the horrid pained expressions of hemorrhoid sufferers look like now, thank you. I absolutely, politely decline working on this with you.
Cheers,
BlondieBleach
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[24 Jan 2024 12:23]
Dear Sakura,
Hi, just a friendly reminder that I've not received your face moisturizers yet. Also, could you send the contract for your endorsement back to me please?
Cheers,
BlondieBleach
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[25 Jan 2024 10:32]
Dear Sarah,
I'm disappointed to hear that your budget has been cut. I look forward to working with you in the future. Good luck on the watches.
Cheers,
BlondieBleach
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[28 Jan 2024 16:15]
Dear Sakura,
Did you receive my email? Your moisturizers are not in yet, just so you'd know.
Cheers,
BlondieBleach
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[3 Feb 2024 03:58]
Dear Sakura,
Are we still doing this?
Cheers,
BlondieBleach
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[5 Feb 2024 11:41]
Dear Wanwen,
OMG! Sorry, yes I emailed you by mistake, this was intended for someone else.
So, how's Singapore?
Cheers,
BlondieBleach
___________________________________________________________
Original message:
[5 Feb 2024 11:19]
Hi,
Did you email the wrong person?
Warm Regards,
Chen Wanwen
Marketing Manager, Hotel 888
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[5 Feb 2024 11:04]
Dear Steve,
How are you? Does your offer of free vibrators in return for IG promotion still stand?
Cheers,
BlondieBleach
In Mikael Teo’s 25-year journey as a Senior Copywriter and Creative Director, he won more than 100 international awards in advertising, such as Cannes Lion Advertising Awards and One Show Awards. As a screenwriter and film director, Mikael's indie films were theatrically released and accepted in Hoboken Film Festival, Motor City Nightmares Film Festival, Williamsburg Film Festival, Indiefest Awards, and nominated for Best Feature Film at Flagler Film Festival. Currently, Mikael is working on his short stories, novellas, and novels.